Breaking down the basics of burnout (and things you can do when you’re in the thick of it).
‘Burnout’ is often a word that gets thrown around, typically depicted in movies and TV shows through a main character that is the respectable but distracted employee of ‘insert company name here’, running frantically between meetings and striving for career excellence, all whilst trying to maintain somewhat of a social life and prospects of a romantic relationship, make use of her expensive (and underused) gym membership, and squeeze in time for self-care. Inevitably we see her falling into a heap, ignoring phone calls from her Mum, and eating a family sized pizza while binge-watching re-runs of Friends.
I know, this is a highly dramatised and romanticised scenario, but the actual concept of burnout is a very real and often unavoidable part of our modern lives. So, let’s get to know it, learn the signs of it, and most importantly how we can put steps in place to manage the symptoms of burnout when we are in the depths of it.
Burnout, is the state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion, often caused by excessive and stressful demands in your work or personal life (shout out to all the mama’s nodding along here). You might find yourself feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, hopeless or purposeless, and when you are completing tasks, you feel like they aren’t making a difference or that they are under-appreciated. This can lead to a mental (and even a physical) avoidance from your responsibility and routines.
Let’s talk about the physical signs of burnout:
Feeling exceedingly tired, fatigued, and drained most days, no matter how much you sleep.
You notice yourself getting sick more often and that your immune system isn’t working as well as usual.
You start noticing an increase in headaches and general body soreness.
You don’t reach for your favourite foods anymore and notice a decrease in your appetite.
Your sleep is completely derailed (and not just from those newborn night feeds).
Getting to know the behavioural signs of burnout:
You might find hanging out with friends less appealing and instead choose to stay home on the couch scrolling social media.
You might feel more frustrated at home and are more likely to take this out on others (like when your partner loads the dishwasher the ‘wrong way’ and not how you like it? Except it reaaaalllllyyy annoys you.)
You find yourself procrastinating and taking longer to do certain tasks.
You reach for that extra glass of wine or extra packet of Tim-tams in order to cope with your feelings.
It is important that I stop here and flag something really quickly, and that is that a lot of the symptoms of burnout can mimic and sometimes go hand-in-hand with symptoms of depression. Recognising these symptoms within yourself is truly a HUGE step towards taking back control. I have linked some resources and links at the end of this blog for you to access if you need further support.
Now that we know the symptoms of burnout and that you might have flagged one or a few of these symptoms in yourself, let’s chat about some things we can put into place to help manage your emotions and slowly get yourself back on track. I am not talking a huge overall of your life, where you implement a 20-step morning routine that involves waking up at 4:00am to do yoga on a mountain top, followed by an organic and homegrown wheatgrass-spirulina-matcha-cucumber smoothie, and journalling for three hours straight each day. No, I am talking about small, achievable and manageable actions you can take everyday to help make things feel a little lighter and a little less overwhelming.
Meet yourself with kindness - Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.
If your best friend was feeling the way you are now, how would you speak to them? What advice would you give and how would you support them? Take this answer and try to apply it to yourself. Be your own best friend, be there for and hype yourself up. Treat yourself with love, kindness, and understanding, because sometimes life is just bloody hard and acknowledging the difficulty of your situation with grace and holding space for yourself, allows you to look at your situation in a softer light.
Prioritise what you enjoy - implementing small joys into each day.
Whether it is getting out and going for a walk in the fresh air during your lunch break, packing the car up with baby to drive down to your favourite cafe and get a coffee (even a take-away one is great!), sitting down to read a few pages of a new book you’ve been wanting to read, or booking yourself into that after-work pilates class, try to add a small moment of joy into each day. It is easy to fall into the repetitive and monotonous rhythm of daily life, and this can make you feel especially stuck when work is busy or home-life is stressful. Add in one activity that breaks the routine and shakes up the day with something that is just for you.
Add quiet moments into your day - lessen the noise and focus on the important things.
This can be as simple as pouring yourself a hot cup of tea, and taking a few deep and mindful breaths every few sips. Or adding in a ‘silent lunch’, meaning you sit down with your lunch or afternoon snack in silence and just focus on the act of eating and enjoying your meal. Pause that tv show, put your phone away, and clear the distractions for just a few minutes whilst you thank your body and fuel it with something nourishing. Struggle to add the quiet into your day? Make your night time shower feel like self-care by turning off the lights in the bathroom and using a lamp or nightlight instead. Use a delicious body wash and spend a few minutes focusing on nothing but the noise of the water. These micro-moments help soothe your nervous system and anchor you in the present.
Focus on your sleep - romanticise your bedtime and enhance your sleep quality.
Sleep is so incredibly beneficial to almost everything we do in life - our brain processes the events of the day and our body restores and repairs itself, making sleep the ultimate reset. Make your bedtime and sleep feel special and something to enjoy. Incorporate a ‘turn-down’ service of an evening in your room - this could be just before you cook dinner, where you quickly reset and prepare your bedroom for sleep. Do a quick tidy of the space, pick the clothes up off the floor, make-up the bed and turn your lamps on, even spray some lavender room spray on the pillows - make it feel like a luxurious hotel. If you’re currently navigating postpartum, setting up your side table with overnight essentials and items for easy grabbing can help to make the midnight wake-ups a little easier. Add in a sleep meditation or listen to an audiobook to wind down before bedtime, avoiding looking at your screens for 1-2 hours before going to sleep.
Talk about how you’re feeling - the weight is lighter when it is shared with someone.
This might seem like an obvious one, but talking about how you’re feeling and explaining your situation can help to lighten the load and pressure you feel towards yourself. This can be to a friend, boss, family member, partner, or therapist, and can help you identify and sit with your feelings, creating space for clarity and welcoming change.
Are these tips revolutionary and going to change your situation and impacts of burnout overnight? Probably not. But, they are a powerful place to start. They allow you to turn inwards, gently break the cycle of stress and reclaim your days in small but meaningful ways.
Not everyone has a chance to step away, to take a month off work, to have the kids babysat for a few hours, or to book a spontaneous overseas holiday, and so we must try to place focus on finding rest when there is no time for rest - put on your favourite song while washing the dishes, buy yourself one of those $15 bunch of flowers next time you’re doing the grocery shopping, and buy that matching activewear set to feel cute on your walks.
You deserve to feel supported, even if it’s by the smallest moments. You’re doing your best, and that is more than enough.
Resources and Contacts:
Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or beyondblue.org.au
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 726 306 or support@panda.org.au